{"product_id":"copper-vacuum-insulated-bottle-22oz-16","title":"Catholicism VS Mushrooms Bottle, 22oz","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCatholicism VS Mushrooms — 22oz Water Bottle\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eThey didn't kill the sacrament. They put a collar on it and called it sin.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003ePanDora holds the evidence — Kill The Church, Save The Man, written in frosting on a cookie tray sitting on a native headdress worn by the cow that got someone fired for knowing too much. The cow stands on mushrooms because cow dung grows psilocybin — nature's oldest joke on the institution that spent centuries burning the people who understood it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eOn the other canvas Mario rides Yoshi straight out of the Spanish ecclesiastical conquest — the same mission that ransacked South American mushroom cults, renamed their sacraments as devil worship and their priests as heretics. Pay and Pray stamped into the ground like the terms and conditions nobody read before they signed away their spiritual sovereignty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eAbraxas watches over all of it. The Gnostic archon with the rooster head and serpent legs — the one they demonized because he represented the fullness of existence, light and dark unified, which was exactly the kind of thinking empires can't afford their subjects to have.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe Cheshire cat grins. We're all mad here. The Queen of Hearts points her finger. The pyramid keeps its eye open.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis bottle is for the ones who know what was taken and why.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eDrink the water. Remember the cow. Grow anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eA.R.A. — Artistic Revolt Apparel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe conquest never ended. It just changed its uniform.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e.: One size: 22oz (0.65 l)\u003cbr\u003e.: Spill-proof design\u003cbr\u003e.: Scratch and fade resistant\u003cbr\u003e.: BPA free\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ 22oz","offer_id":44743294812230,"sku":"19438808921133573106","price":48.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 22oz","offer_id":44743294844998,"sku":"19134510546403395702","price":48.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 22oz","offer_id":44743294877766,"sku":"19778227035503490188","price":48.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Mint Green \/ 22oz","offer_id":44743294910534,"sku":"30844081296522333191","price":48.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ 22oz","offer_id":44743294943302,"sku":"14640729423412790459","price":48.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pebble Blue \/ 22oz","offer_id":44743294976070,"sku":"12969515113906496524","price":48.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 22oz","offer_id":44743295008838,"sku":"13898380452574894651","price":48.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0680\/6719\/6998\/files\/2831210527511761014_2048.jpg?v=1773588977","url":"https:\/\/artisticrevoltapparel.com\/products\/copper-vacuum-insulated-bottle-22oz-16","provider":"Artistic Revolt Apparel","version":"1.0","type":"link"}